Construction Project Manager/Working through "Mom" issues

Everyone loves my Mother, she is very pretty and charming, that is, as long as she doesn’t perceive you as a threat. I thought I had the solution. In order to spend time with my now elderly Narcissistic mother I just needed to put on my big girl pants and ignore her bad behavior. I also had to ignore my scars from the years she spent defacing my worth.

I thought I was doing a great job, I really did. I was managing to spend time and help her. I had set internal limits, parameters of how to engage and when to leave. I had broken down the relationship like a project and all was good with my Mom.

I will never forget Anne asking me “How is that working for you?” It was like a bolt of lightning into my soul. I answered almost under my breath, with a tear rolling out of the corner of my eye, “Not so well”. She asked me to go on, explain. “I’m so angry”, I said, with a sigh. “What are you going to do about that?” asked Anne.

Anne understood that I had allowed my Mom to dictate our relationship, once again, still. What I was ignoring with my hardened heart was what I wished for, what kind of relationship I want, what I need. She helped me breakdown the history so that I could remove the scars at least the anger. She helped me come up with a way to re-approach with a new perception. 

With Anne’s coaching, my mom and I are spending time together that works for both of us.

Fran Price